God's wounded often make His best soldiers.

i'm bleeding.

outside and in.

punched a wall a few times. my hand's gotten rather sore, and its not easy to type. purposely inflicted wounds to take my mind off my emotional ones.

my heart aches whenever i see her. it aches coz it wants to be near hers. and it aches coz it cant seem to get there...

damn it. my own best friend. this is just pathetic. I am pathetic.

how the hell did it come to this. i've become distant and moody. she's become blank and sullen. now aint that just perfect?

i want our friendship to last. it worked in the past, why cant it now? maybe i should just let it go. why force it to work if it cant, right? but thinking about it scares me - i dont want to be alone. i dont think i could do it, even if i wanted to. and that scares me too - the thought that i couldnt get by on my own.

so i'm back to square one. still confused. still lost. still bleeding.