You're going to lose. But you owe it to yourself to try.
-Mom

i tossed and turned in my bed. i wanted to sleep. sleep wouldnt come. i was probably just being stupid again. making such a big deal of it. i didnt wanna think about it. i needed a distraction.
i left my room. the computer was occupied. and that wouldnt have done much anyway - surfing the net wasnt enough, and i didnt really wanna chat with anyone at the moment. my gaze turned to the next thing - playstation. perfect. something that i didnt have to concentrate to much on, but that i needed to concentrate enough on and keep my mind of... other things.
it worked. at least till dad came home and walked past me later that night. i sat on the sofa outside his room, trying to gather my guts. i guess i mustve managed coz i was able to turn the doorknob.
we talked for quite a while. we were kinda just going around in circles actually. but in the end, he gave way to me. maybe it would be easier to just follow.
i washed my face, avoiding looking in the mirror. then i headed back to my room where mom was waiting and lay down. she prayed over me. and sleep came this time. and so did the tears.