light gray skies, cool breeze, rain... great day.

You're so beautiful
With an edge and charm
but so careful
When I'm in your arms
-Sarah McLachlan

looking forward to a really laid back day.

mass took up the first periods.
"si father edwin!"
"ahem, mga section 3, swooning!"

then we had the house meetings.
ms fernandez: o, sino sa written english: essay writing and editorial writing?
group: bea! loren!
me: *pretends to be reading my calc book*
loren: *pretends to be asleep*

then calculus.
*snore*

lunch.
"food!"

music.
"act your part! go!"
"mooooo!"
"oink oink."
"baaaaaaa..."
"arf arf"
"very good!"

and writers' bloc.
meacy: *reads her poem*
me: ok. so whats the first thing that came into your head?
gang: *laughs uneasily*
me: *points at alexyss* ikaw? ano?
alexyss: *shakes head*
me: ok. i'll open this up. the first thing that came into MY head was sex! *points at alexyss again*
alexyss: same...
me: *points to andromeda*
andromeda: same...
me: *points to crystal*
crystal: same...
me: *points to mara*
mara: do you have to ask?
me: ok, and its really about a...
maecy: guitar.
gang: *falls over*

miz m: what maecy and celine have just shared are examples of *writes on board* EROTIC POETRY.
gang: *cheers*
miz m: hoy wag kayong sosobra jan ha.
me: hahaha... pagdating sa college... "sino nagturo sa inyo nyan?!?!" "si ms. manahan po."
miz m: waaa! nauna nga sila sa pagtuturo ko eh! dapat NEXT week pa yun!"
gang: *laughs*

CAT
"kapag ang numerator ay masmalaki sa denominator, improper fraction ang tawag dyan. kaya ang 9/5 ay..."
"..."
"okay... lets try this again."

the la salle antipolo dance.
sop: this is disappointing by assumption standards.
les: this isnt disappointing. this is a calamity.

me: wow. i just realized i'm surrounded by taekwondo blackbelts. i'm so safe! pwera nalang pag ipis ang kalaban.

the moon was full.
i should remember how to slowdance.

and last, but definitely not least, the sleepover.
sop: ksp kitty!
me: *chuckles*

and...

*ahem*

damn meningitis.
(spell check?)

Step out the front door like a ghost
Into the fog where no one notices
The contrast of white on white
-Counting Crows

it rained. i was happy it was raining, even though it was a bit of a shame to see the fair slack.

back to food, cards, guitars, cash and shifts. then on to music, singing/shouting, dancing/jumping, human walls, and still great company.

we made mars' laptop glow! wheeee!

Round here we're carving out our names
Round here we all look the same
Round here we talk just like lions
But we sacrifice like lambs
-Counting Crows

the fair.

i was late. again.

i headed straight for the anime booth, figuring i would catch some of my friends there. i was right. i found alex and loren.
we bought some stuff and some food, then we headed for the gradeschool caf. our hang out. loren realized she had left her wallet at home. she brought out a deck of cards instead. we had a pusoy dos showdown while alex watched and listened to her cds.
loren: ha! 8 - 2!
me: wala ka pa ring wallet!
loren: waaaaa!
people showed up at different times. we would all come and go, split and regroup, depending on what we felt like doing or if duty called.
buy, eat, cards, security shift, guitar, rides, eat, cards, eat, buy, guitar, cards, security shift, eat, etc, etc, etc.
i was there till closing, since alex and i had take the very last round of shifts. haha.

No one knows me but they know my name
That's not real to me
-Brian McFadden

we were told that if we werent doing anything productive, we would have classes.
well, we spent the entire day jamming. (it took a toll on maecy's guitar too, haha.)
our friendly-neighborhood-spiderman didnt tell us off.
and even if she did, i'd put up a fight. who's to say having fun with your friends isnt productive?

Sound the bugle now
Tell 'em i don't care
-Bryan Adams

how quickly things can change.
sometimes you're really just out of it. you know you should hang on, but all you want to do is to friggin' LET GO.
its not the fall that hurts, it the landing. and you only need to worry about that when you're high up.

do you need a reason to be happy?
do you need a reason to be sad?

THOU SHALL NOT GET CAUGHT.

Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here
If I was someone else, would this all fall apart
Strange, where were you, when we started this game,
I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me
And you and you and me
-Matchbox 20

i met mom at the hospital. she had come from the airport. doc's decision was great news to her. she decided we'd celebrate. so we went off the shangrila. grabbed some lunch first, then walked around, until we settled in for a movie.

"i love this. i feel like a kid again."
"i want more popcorn..."
*give me some cash* "except that i have money."
*laughs*

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
'Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
-John Mayer

sir mitra chose to spend some time giving us a pep talk today. he first mentioned karla's sister, top of her batch in math, the bane of a philippine science high school student who cant believe someone from aa can whip his ass in calculus.
"assumption antipolo ka lang!"
"yung nga eh, assumption antipolo ako."
it pays to have an edge. he started talking about what it was like when you didnt. he and his brothers were left by their parents. he had to make do with public school education, and had a hard time keeping up in college, surviving only by studying several hours (i'm talking about 6 - 9) a day. then he began talking about us. and his own daughter, which the class found really cute. haha.
the first period was about to end...
"eh sir, pano kayo napunta sa semenaryo?"
"ay nako, dat is anader istory."
"sige na, sir! we have time!"
"matatapos na ang pirst period, wala pa tayong napag-aaralan!"
"ok lang yan sir!"
"the law of conservation of potential energy and kinetic energy..."
the class groans and laughs. we covered some ground until...
rrrriiinnnggg!
sir mitra drops the chalk. "okey class... i must now climb up to mt zion..."
this time the class just laughs.
and worked a bit harder in the subject that followed. calculus.

afternoon was spent in the auditorium. we waited for nearly 2 hours for the event to start. to pass the time, we just bugged each other. ms jona was fun to have around.
ms jona: shh... umiingay tayo... baka mapatingin dito si sir mitra.
cami: ms, nasan?
ms jona: ayun o, nakaupo sa harap.
cami: *scanning the sea of heads* di ko makita...
ms jona: spot the difference.
me: *rolls around in my chair*

cami: ms.. grabe talaga mga libro namin... calculus...
ms jona: leithold pero ang bigat.
me: *rolls around again*

we pulled in some proud wins.
cam noted it was nice treat... considering it was last time we'd experience it.

Come on, come on
Move a little closer
Come on, come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, come on
Settle down inside my love
-Counting Crows

no return. no exchange.

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
-Five for Fighting

spent a lot of time just lounging.

"gustong-gusto ko yung mga teacher natin sa fourth year."
"bakit?"
"tamad rin sila eh."

wahahahaha.

I sit with them all night
Everything they say is right
But in the morning they were wrong
I'll be right by your side
Come hell or water high
Down any road you choose to roam
-Live

UA&P was a spiffy place. i had fun spinning my chair around as i pondered on what to write on my paper.

i got home before lunch time. just a bit before the guests started to arrive. it had been a long time since mom had invited them over. tito boy vic (her brother), tito ken (dad's brother), mig, chad, mom and dad sat around the table. meanwhile amanda (tito boy vic's daugher), tita ria (mom's adopted sister) and tito ike (tita ria's husband) along with erica (their 3 yr old kid) and i sat on the floor in the sala. i finished my food rather quickly. then i headed upstairs for a while to chill. when i felt ready to leave my bed, i went back down. i was hoping that tippi (tito boy vic's other daughter) had arrived already with her boyfriend and newborn kid. and that they had brought out the desert. i got both wishes. we spent the rest of the time eating cake and hovering around the baby and taking pictures and catching up.

after they left i returned to my bed. couple of hours, then mom came knocking. she told me she was going out to ever. i decided to tag along. we mostly wandered around the mall before we had to leave to get to church on time. i went to mass grudgingly as usual. but with a little more heart.

Sometimes I think best if left in the memory
It's better kept inside than left for good
Looking back each time they tried to tell me
Well somethings gotta go wrong
'Cause I'm feelin' way too damn good
-Nickleback

with regards to my last entry...
i've just realized that i might be the most emotionally stable among us siblings.
thats... saying a lot... isnt it?
crap.

It's hard to walk this path alone
Hard to know which way to go
Will I ever save this day
Will it ever change
-Alter Bridge

i can feel the enmity growing between me and migs again. he treats me like such a kid. i cant really blame him... i know i havnt really grown up yet.

but i want a brother, dammit, not a babysitter.

**** and *****
Just be mine tonight
-Point Break

i am *****!
and if you were me, lying around the house, not really doing anything, i bet you'd tend to let your imagination run wild too.
god help me.
no, actually, i dont think i really want him to.
...*evil laughter*

The tick tock of the clock is painful
All sane and logical
I want to tear it off the wall
I hear words and clips and phrases
I think sick like ginger ale
My stomach turns and I exhale
-Eve 6

okay... i know i'm sickly... but i actually havent been this sick in a long time.

i mean i drag myself to school with fever, colds and cough. unless mom finds out, which usually happens (mother's instincts?), confining me to the house.

my head is throbbing. now dully, then sharply.
my throat is killing me. i can barely recognize my own voice if i can manage to speak at all. and swallowing anything, including my own spit, is a pain.
i've thrown up a couple of meals... all the glorious food gone to waste!
and every part of my body is either aching or limp. i hate having to even stand.
i know some people have it worse, i'm just ranting.

i'm missing chances to go out with my friends. i guess thats what sucks the most.
then again... if i was well... there's a chance i'd even be in a hospital...
how ironic.
but i really dont wanna think about that right now.

This is your life
Are you who you want to be
This is your life
Is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger
And you had everything to lose
-Switchfoot

sometimes i feel like i've done so little for my friends...
that i take them for granted...
and i'm so ashamed.

other times i feel i've done so much for them...
that they take me for granted...
and i'm so tired.

one, two, three, fuck!