Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
Erica Jong

i completely forgot we were going out to lunch at my aunt's place. i had to rush to get ready. its a good thing i still beat my brothers to the shower.

i was kinda skeptical about goin' coz i dont really get along with my cousins there. well, we get along, but we're not close. course i didnt have much choice.

the food was served. i could see most of my cousins seating themselves at the dining table inside. aissa, however, took a spot on one of the tables outside. now, wherever aissa sits, my brothers sit. and if farah was there, she would have probably sat with them too, but she's in the states. they're are my brothers' age, much older than me, but i like their company better than the ones my age, so i joined them at the table, and mostly just listened to them, but every now and them they would address me.

they served us watermelon for desert. that gave me and my bros an idea: watermelon shake! it was a hot day, and we wanted to make desert more appealing. so we picked out the seeds, dumped the slices into a blender, and presto! we sat under the macopa tree in the garden, drinking. the three of them lit cigarettes. normally, i would have moved away, but since it was open air, the smoke didnt bother me. i've grown kinda accustomed to it too. we were quite comfortable where we were until a shower of falling macopas forced us to evacuate the vicinity.

a scene that happened in the dining room:
me: *texting sop*
aissa: who do you keep texting?
chad: its a girl!
me: O_o
i nearly fell off my chair, hahahahaha.

my brothers left soon after that, they both had places to go to. aissa went upstairs to join my other cousins. i went back out alone into the garden and found a bench to sit on in the shade. i wasnt alone for long though, one of their cats came up to me and lay down at my feet. soon he'd jumped up and transfered to my lap. i was kinda surprised at first, but we i guess be both grew into each others' company. he stayed there till my dad called me coz it was time to go.

i got annoyed at my parents. they had told me to hurry up and say goodbye, so i did. but they're the ones who ended up taking such a long time to wrap things up. i wanted to snap at them. but instead i just took the car keys from my dad and let my head cool in the car. halfway home, my mood had lightened. its funny, i dont think i ever really learned to hold a grudge. sometimes i wish i did though.

Common sense is not common.

memories of the past long gone...

new york. we lived in an small, cozy aparment on a island in the middle of the city. spring - picking dandelions along the path, kite flying on the more windy days. summer - getting scrapes, sprains and bruises all over my body by day, and catching crickets and fireflies by night. autumn - dancing in the rain, climbing up to the top of lighthouse, sitting on the Meditation Steps where mom and i watched the sun set and the lights of the city play across the darkness. winter - snowfights, snowmen, snow angels, and the taste of snowflakes...and then curling up on the couch in front of the heater with a mug of hot choco.

jordan. watching my dad paint in the basement, the comic strips pasted all over chad's walls, swinging from tree vines, the simple joys of a huge cardboard box, sleepovers, swapping weird food over lunch with classmates, and travelling all over the desert.

life was so much simpler as a kid. you're not judged. not discriminated against. and if you are, you dont care. they say age brings wisdom. it does. you learn that the world is an ugly place. that people will hate you for being different. still, you try to be yourself. but when the world sees this, it grabs at you, and breaks you. so you learn to build walls and wear a mask. then you learn to hate the world for forcing you to do this. but in then end, you learn you dont hate the world, you just hate yourself for submitting to the world.

when i can laugh from the heart, it means more to me because it doesnt happen often. maybe thats why i'm also willing to put myself through a lot just to see a smile on another's face, coz i know how much it can mean.
him: you let others be happy at your expense. you're gonna get yourself killed that way someday.
me: that wouldnt be such a bad way to die.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Carl Gustav Jung

something i learned today: one person can be enough of a reason for you to get up in the morning knowing you're gonna face an excruciatingly gruesome day.

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'

some snipets of a conversation i had with a friend a few days ago.

him: d'you remember what you said?
me: about what?
him: about what you'd do...if I...um...killed myself.
me: i said i'd put a gun to my own head.
him: my own folks wouldnt do that for me.
me: you forget, i'm not your folks.

him: dont worry about me.
me: dont worry about you? thats like me asking you not to slash yourself.
him: you know i wont stop.
me: exactly.
him: how d'you always know the right words to cheer people up?
me: its not that hard...
him: so how?
me: i just think of the things i want others to say to me. 'cept that they never do.

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

the day of the prom.

light blue gown, silver heels, light blue pearl necklace with svarovski crystals, matching bracelet, sapphire ring and earrings, silver bag.

my escort was kuya papu, camille's older bro. he was kinda heisitant to agree to take me at first, since he felt he was to old for that sorta thing (he's 20). but he relented anyway, and i dont think he regreted it. hahaha. camille's escort was her neighbor, chino. papu drove the four of us to assumption. we were one of the first to get there. in fact, our names were the first listed in the guestbook for our section (there were already people from the other sections). we seated ourselves at our table and conversation ensued. more people started coming in. joanne arrived, she wasnt seated at the same table as us, but she and her escort joined us for the meantime. maecy came in too, she had brought along her childhood friend, don. i grinned as they approached. they made a good couple. we caught sight of noelle as well, and joanne left us to join her at their table. then giselle turned up, and that completed ours.

our theme was atlantis. every table had this centerpiece with a fishbowl and couple of goldfish in it. when we first sat down we were like "cool! fishies!" and then we realized one of them was dead and were like "oh! dead fishy!". later in the night we found the other one bobbing belly up as well. we called one of the caterers' attention.
papu: waiter, can we have some new fish? *points at the bowl*
waiter: *blinks* uuuhh...

the program started late. but that was to be expected. opening prayer, opening remarks, then the first dance. we had decided beforehand we wouldnt dance, but when the music started playing we thought "what the hell!" and moved to the floor. by the time they served dinner, we were famished, and wanted to attack the buffet table. but we had to line up like everyone else first.
me: oi! si maecy, gusto na mag-charge!
don: maecy, go! bunguin mo na sila!
maecy: eh?
papu: sabay yung emcee-- "ladies and gentlemen, we seem to be having some problems at the buffet table."
me: "for your own safety, please stay away from the - aaaargh! help! she's got me! noooooo!"
papu: new emcee-- "ladies and gentlemen, we have a rabid woman on the loose. please evacuate the area immidiately."
don: "sorry for the inconvinience. have a pleasant evening."
maecy: kayo ha!
the food was great. we wanted to go back for seconds but most of us were too lazy to get up again. so papu and don were kind enough to go back for us. don came back with a mountain of rice on his plate, and papu with a plate of meat. our own little buffet, hahahahaha.

there was more dancing to be done. the music wasnt exactly...formal. it sounded like we were in a disco party rather than a prom. well, we decided to make the most of it. we formed one big circle and began raving. some of our friends joined us - ches, alex, loren, mars and joanne. the others around us were holding back. we knew what we were doing wasnt exactly appropriate, and we knew that were in the direct line of vision of the teachers. (on the side note: our table was also right beside the table of the R.A.). but at least we were having a hell of a lot more fun!

we stopped when it was our turn to have our pictures taken. even while we were posing in the conference room, we were still teasing each other as if there was no tomorrow. after the photographs, we headed headed back up towards the multi. but we stopped short at the prep waiting area. we decided to take a break from all the hubub. out there, it was much cooler, and the guys took of their coats while the girls kicked off thier heels. we stayed there for some time, just enjoying the night.

when we walked back into the multi, slow music began playing.
giselle: abaaaaa.
me: talk about timing...
we turned to look at each and nodded. the guys lifted their arms and the girls graciously took them. there was a silent understanding among us to keep the first song "sacred". the second song however...
papu: y'know what this would be perfect for?
me: what?
papu: human pinball.
*both of us grin*
and that started it. first we bumped camille and chino, and they bumped maecy, who bumped giselle and so on and so forth, until the song ended (by which time we couldnt stop laughing). then the music turned rave again.
me: circle!!
maecy: lets take the center!!
and so we did. our group was dancing around the assumption logo.

our tired feet bade us to rest, so rest we did. we had fiel (chez' escort) do some card tricks for us, and that kept us quite entertained. a little while after, i nudged camille.
me: what time is it?
camille: *glances at her really spiffy looking watch* a little past midnight...
me: *blinks*
camille: what?
me: erm...i believe...i just turned sixteen...
camille: oh my god!
*whole table errupts into a soft chorus*

awarding. we werent really paying much attention to the emcees. every now and then we would glance up, check who was walking up the stage and clap. however things did get intersesting...
emcee: ...the Le Coeur de la Mer award... for the table who enjoys each others' company the most...
me: kawawa talaga yung mga goldfish...
emcee: this award is presented to... table 40!
meacy: ano daw? 14?
emcee: alonzo, espiritu, rialp and samaniego.
me: holy-- tayo yun!
camille: *picks up and stares our table number* oh shoot!
after receiving the award...
me: cheers!
maecy: to what?
papu: to the fish!
me: our lucky charms to the fish!
*glasses clink*
we were included in the "dance of winners". we took the chance to play one last round of "human pinball".

and so the night is ended.

well not quite yet. there was an afterparty! camille, chez and I, with our escorts, trouped into starbucks katipunan in full prom attire. you can imagine we made a bit of a scene. and got a bit high on caffeine. especially chez... who began throwing me hentai glances for across the table. which led to a conversation on yaoi and yuri. but i'd really rather not elaborate on that. hahahahaha.

then they brought me home. it was about 3am, and dad and kaiser were waiting for me at the door. i couldnt help but smile as they greeted me. i walked up with them the master bedroom and chatted with my parents for a while. but soon they wanted to turn in, so i let them be. the coffee was still going strong though, so i decided to turn on the computer. not surprisingly, i found sophia online on YM.

we ended up going to bed at around 5:30.

Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a mistake when you make it again.

swimming today. the water was so cold. i liked it though. all the drills really got me tired - freestyle, backstoke, breaststroke (consecutively!). but it felt good. i could feel my blood pumping through my veins... i felt.... alive. but the most fun part was acutally in the shower room. me, alex and camillle got into a kickboard fight. sorta like a pillow fight... only with kickboards. while we were showering, we were shouting at each other over the walls of our stalls. a friend of ours (whose-name-i-wont-mention) sat outside the row of stalls too, chatting with us. we couldnt stop laughing. we hung around there for a while after, watching the water. i had the sudden urge to push my friends into the pool and jump in after them. if we were anywhere else, i probably would have done it.

we headed back to the HS building. i bumped into sop and lalaine. we chatted for a while, before sop had to leave for a meeting (which she ultimately never got to attend anyway, hehe), and before the bell forced me and lalaine to part ways.

lunch break. camille and i went ahead to the caf. therese and joanne joined us there from lab class. they gave word that sop and lalaine were looking for me. we always take long to eat (mostly coz camille always goes back for seconds...and thirds...and fourths...), so by the time we got back to the HS bldg i barely had enough time to run up to the fourth year. i did anyway. when i showed up at their door, lalaine charged out and strangled me. and i dont even know what the heck for.
sop: wait, dont you have class?
me: *in a so-what-if-do tone* yeah.
sop: may i remind you that the fourth year is always late.
me: *waves, then dashes off like a maniac*
on the way up to the fourth floor, i cut off sir wes (who just happened to be our next teacher). least i knew i wasnt gonna be late.

sometime during chemistry, i got tired of watching sir wes put all these equations on the board. my gaze turned outside the window. it was drizzling. i noticed a flock of birds flying about in front of the auditorium. they werent the ordinary little brown birds you see around in school... these were different with a darker color, maybe black or dark blue. i think they might have been swallows, judging by their tails, but i'm not sure. i felt like i could watch then fly for hours. and through the window, the wind blew cold and crisp. i love the way the wind blows through my hair. its one of the reasons why i prefer my hair short (i always keep it tied back when its long). hehe. then a thought suddenly occured to me. since Wind's touch is usually cool, i wondered how it would feel to have someone's warm hand run through my hair. one day, i'd like to find out.

but anyway... its just a thought.

The journey of a thousand miles must begin with the first step.

driver didnt come in today. bummer. i actually wanted to go to school. (gosh, i think i've lost it) but not going to school means i get more sleep, which i was also really wanted. i was more than happy to be able to get under the covers again.

since we didnt use aircon that night (coz it was pretty cool), my windows were open. and i woke up to the sound of birds outside. but i'm not talking about the gentle chirping, i mean loud, annoying chirping. god, i wanted to shoot them.

i read three acts of macbeth in the span of two hours. (not too shabby, eh?) either i was feeling really diligent, or i was feeling really bored.
me: maybe i should finish macbeth already. i'm down to the last act.
sop: ang sipag mo magbasa! i havent even started reading hamlet yet...
me: hala, miz m will bite your head off if she finds out.
sop: well, she cant say anything if i can answer her test. hehe.
me: haha. i think i'm too lazy to read macbeth right now. shakespeare can wait. its not he cant say anything either, can he?
sop: hahaha!

There's no right way to do a wrong thing.

wild day. and yet not so wild.

i had problems getting to school coz one car was broke and the other was coded. well we couldnt take the car that was broke (duh) so we risked getting caught and fined. good thing for us, lady luck was on our side.

the general assembly. normal routine. then they had the the announcing of winners for this raffle the seniors held. the grand prize was a P700 gift certificate to The Spa. i was thinking how funny it would be if i won. then i turned to my side and saw noelle. i then thought it would be even funnier if SHE won. at that moment they called out her name. needless to say, i threw a laughing fit.

camille was absent. the seat behind me was left empty. it felt kinda...lonely. but the bustle and hustle of class soon overpowered that...

lunch time. i needed to find sop. i had something for her from...uh..."ryan". hehe. i got alex to come with me. well, we didnt have to go far, coz sop kinda found us. how d'you like that?
me: catch *throws gift to sop*
alex: "i love you!"
me: *eyebrow twitches*
sop: *laughs* may bibigay rin ako. *hands me a gift*
alex: hala! ano yan?! "i love you too!"
me: *hits alex on the head* 


sop also lent me this book. ang paboritong libro ni judas. by bob ong. the first time i looked at it, i was like "what's this...? looks like a bible..." i opened it, took one look at the first page and almost dropped to the floor laughing. i dont think i could have ever been so wrong in my entire life, hahaha. great book.

they distributed the report cards. i didnt get mine right away coz i still had dues to pay. well i had the checks already, i just had to give them in. so i figuered i'd go pay the business office then go back to the HS building to get my card. ok. so we headed for the multi. halfway there, i realized i had left my jug back in the classroom. so i trudge back up to the 4th floor to get it. then on to the multi. ok, time to pay. then i realized i had also left my binder in the classroom, where the checks were inserted. argh. fourth floor again, then the multi again. paid my dues, then back to the HS building, and finally the multi to get to my car. i believe that was enough exercise for one day.

the wind was blowing. it was cool. the sky was a overcast. i was wondering if celine was sad. funny thing, she was thinking the same thing about me. hahaha.

i got home and turned on the computer. that was becoming a habit. anyway. YM chat with celine and issa. that was cool until issa kinda got on my nerves. i can usually take her incessant ramble without any problem at all, but i just wasnt in the mood. i got to talk to my cousins in canada - felicia and alexa! i had to download msn messenger and create a whole new hotmail account to do it. was worth it though. i was kinda surprised when i found out they like anime. last thing i expected, hahaha. and i remember when my other cousin, nikki, came to visit last year... after we hadnt seen each other in 13 years!
me: so you play soccer, right?
nikki: yup. guess what my coach calls me?
me: i dunno, what?
nikki: kamikaze.
me: why?
nikki: its like this: run run run run run - sprain ankle - run run run run run - break it - run run run run run - score!
me: *rolling on the floor laughing*

True friendship doesn't have a happy ending. It simply doesn't end.

friday again. teacher's day. i arrived at school, looked out the car window, and cried "god damn it, no one said anything about having to be in gala uniform!". i was peeved, but i just gave a resigned sigh, kicked my door open and climbed outta the vehicle, throwing my backpack over my shoulder. "who gives a shit anyway?" i muttered under my breath. i turned around at the call of my name. alex. she was also wearing her red uniform, but had her gala draped over her shoulder. she ended up joining me in my "galalessness" coz she decided she was too lazy to put on the damn thing. and she hates wearing it. who doesnt? i recall making the effort to listen to the priest's sermon. i still dont remember what he said though. go figure.

we didnt do much else for the rest of the morning. "miss alejo" just explained our project, "sir eric" got a mixed up schedule and missed "his" period with us, and "sir mitra" never even showed up. not that we were complaining. the most eventful thing that happened was the distribution of difficulty letters. i was kinda anticipating one in algeb. i didnt though. but there's a chance it might still be coming. anyway, camille got one, and she was kinda shook up. well...not kinda. but she got over it after a while. least i hope she did.

we assembled at the auditorium lobby to watch alikabok. while they werent letting us in yet, we seated ourselves on the floor and made paper airplanes and threw them at each other. then i saw celine standing over the sea of heads and grinned. i focused my thoughts, tried to block out the noise and concentrated on her - willing her to look at me. it worked! i waved at her, and she turned back to her friends. after a while, i tried it again. it didnt fail. i got my friends to join the game. her reaction time became much quicker, almost instant. she seemed to get the gist, and started staring back, instead of covering her eyes like she usually does. i grinned. a challenge, is it? i took off my specs - i figured it would make it harder for her to keep up her end. i think i was right, she was forced to avert her gaze. i was a bit worried at first, but she seemed to be ok, and was even laughing. i took that as a good sign, and laughed too.

the play finally started. my dad had directed the original alikabok, so i knew the play. this was a different version, so i was still quite entertained. there were some scences and stuff that were...well... not right. ehe. i dont think many noticed though. it was still a pretty good show. i went backstage and said hi to the producer - ms. celeste legaspi - a good friend of my mom and dad's (she was their friend back in school, and they were part of a singing group called the Ambivalent Crowd. one day i'll explain how the got that name, hahaha). i also greeted one of the actors who did the original version with my dad. i was in a sort of nostalgic state - remembering how i used to sneak up to the balcony wing of music museum to watch my dad's show from up there. hehe. the good old days.

sophia, lalaine and i had plans again. star was supposed to take us to eastwood. we were gonna see a movie, eat in that area, and then me and lalaine were gonna crash as sop's for the night. well, there was some mix up and star cancelled. bummer. that ticked us off. but there wasnt anything we could do about it. so we decided to take trip to robinson's, just the three of us. we went home to sop's first to change clothes. it was funny, when we looked at ourselves, it was so obvious that the three of us were very different people. we hitched a ride to the entrance of sta. lucia, then walked the rest of the way to big r. we bought movie tickets for mona lisa smile. there was time to kill, so we went hunting for food to bring inside the movie house. while scouring the place, we encountered star. what a coincidence. he was looking for a cake to bring home. to get back at him for dumping us, we had him pay for dinner. we managed to smuggle popeye'e chicken into the cinema. after the movie we found ourselves craving ice cream. then without anything better to do, we decided to do something loony. we went up to the upper floors of the mall where there were less people, and climed up the down-escalators for the heck of it. it became hard coz we couldnt stop laughing while climbing. by the time we reached the top, we could hardly breathe. after resting a bit, we decided to head out. we were satisfied that we had made fools of ourselves enough for one day.

back at sop's place. we changed into our sleeping clothes and just hung out in the sala downstairs. we talked a bit about anime. then lalaine's best friend kyle called and they talked for quite some time. mostly debating on star's actions that day. it was amusing to listen to them. there was also this scene where lalaine dropped her cellphone and it bounced off her nose. it mustve take a full three minutes for me and sop to stop ourselves from laughing, and even after that we were still clutching our stomachs. meanwhile sop and i fiddled with our cellphones and discmans, pet the puppy and cat, and exchanged stories on sports - taekwando for her, archery for me. we agreed to coach each other sometime. then her dad came home. he had been away, and had brought some goodies back with him. yipee! more food for us. he had also brought back the laptop with him. perfect timing - the batteries in my discman had just died and now we had a player. we also had internet access. big plus. we mostly just hung around my blog - ranting on the tagbaord, reading the entries, signing the guestbook. the funniest part was watching them take the quizzes. lalaine's answers to the questions were just out of this world. sophia's answers on the other hand were nearly all the same as my own! we were up till 4am. worn and beat, we trudged to bed. we woke up slightly after 8:00 and ate a hearty breakfast. les and angela were now in our company at the table to join in the conversation.

after breakfast, sop's family was goin' out. sop had an interview to go to. she was kinda dissapointed that she couldnt go to training instead. my car arrived just as they were leaving. lalaine still had to wait for her mom. we said our goodbyes. i was still texting them in the car.
sophia: ingatz!
me: i was about to text you the same thing. can you read minds?
sophia: no, but i have a very strong gut feeling.
me: pansin ko nga.
***
lalaine: akala ng pinsan ni sop nakaalis na ako. he was singing at the top of his voice. nung nakita nyang andun pa ako, grabe kodak moment!
me: LMAOF
lalaine: LMAOF??
me: Laughing My Ass Off. hehe. na-trauma na yung sa mukha mo!
lalaine: kapal!
me: mana mana lang.
lalaine: ROFL
me: ROFL??
lalaine: Rolls On Floor Laughing!
me: sira!
lalaine: mana mana lang!

the three of us now have a name for ourselves - the trios la wackos! viva!

Love is like the five loaves and two fish. It doesn't start to multiply until you give it away.

its 4am. i woke up, and cant get back to sleep.



turns out, it was me. hahahahaha! hmm, its not exactly something to laugh about, but i'm laughing anyway.

celine apparently has the ability to sense others' emotions. and there was this someone who she could feel was going through "hell on earth", and hiding it (behind smiles, laughter and witty jokes). when i read about it in her blog, it crossed my mind that it was hitting close to home. then again, i thought i was just being masochistic and liked the idea that it was me. so i didnt dwell on it anymore. then i had this wild dream. i dont remember what happened in it, but i do remember what it made me feel. i woke up in a cold sweat, chest heavy with the sensation you get when you want to scream but you cant, and like every wound i'd ever gotten had been reopened. the next day, i approached celine. she looked me in the eye... and said it was me.

in some ways, i'm glad it was me. for one: i cant hide this anymore, at least not from myself. and two: since its me, that means its not someone else, which is good coz i'd hate to think that it was someone else.

i should get some shut eye. well, i dont think it really matters, since i'm staying home today coz i'm too sick to go to school.

Someday there will be a banquet of consequences and we're all going to sit down to it.

i was in a wistful state for the greater part of the day. it was like i was half asleep...not quite gone but not quite present.

my mom noticed. she deduced i was either sick or sad.

i was both. course i'd only admit to being the former.

in the afternoon i sat on the steps of our porch, letting the rain wash over me... the sound of it, the taste of it, the smell of it on the earth. subtle...yet intense. i ran my hand through my hair. it was smooth and slick to the touch. at that moment, it didnt seem so hard to breathe anymore.

To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others...use your heart.

friday is really my favorite day of the week. good things happen to me on fridays.

in the morning i woke up grudgingly as usual, but unusually early. which was fortunate, coz it took me a while to get my act together. i had to cram some long overdue gifts into my bag. i got to school just in the nick of time for the general assembly. nothing unusual about that, hahahahaha.

we had a new seating arrangement in the classroom. i was put in front, beside the window looking out to the auditorium, and right in front of the teachers table. that spot gets really hot as summer draws near, i'm not looking forward to that. ironically, the teachers never watch that seat though, even if its right under their noses. hahaha. AND camille is seated right behind me. which is a plus, and it gave us a chance to talk (well, paperchat)... which we hadnt done in a while...
in red ink: ...you miss the "old me"? i dont know if i can bring her back. but...i'm hoping that out of the ashes, maybe a "new me" will come out.
blue ink: you can count on my help.
things are starting to look up again.

i distributed pasalubong from baguio. i went there for a couple of days during the christmas break and bought some bags of cornicks home. we enjoyed devouring them for recess.

writers' bloc. first agenda: evaluation of the moderator. that put grins on our faces.
1 - never, 2 - seldom, 3 - sometimes, 4 - often, 5 - always.
sophia: shows compassion and understanding towards the students.
me: one!
*everyone laughs*
sophia: intergrates MME values into the lessons...
*everyone sweatdrops*
we love picking on each other. miz m is no exception.
we discussed some stuff - article assignments, deadlines, editorial topics, and emanon. then we had nominations for next year's OH (organization head / president) and Asst. OH (VP). nominees for OH: maecy, joanne, and me; AOH: issa, celine, kyra, and bea.
me: if i win OH, i'll make sure issa wins AOH.
miz m: why?
me: so i can boss her around. "issa! shine my shoes!"
*everyone laughs*
we picked on celine too. she hates being stared at.
me: *staring at celine*
lalaine: *staring at celine*
celine: no! dont stare! get away! kyra, help!
kyra: how?
me: kyra, stare.
kyra: ok! *stares at celine*
celine: noooooooooo!
turns out she's catagelophobic, so we probably shouldnt do that anymore... *sweatdrops* or at least not as often. *grins*

dismissal. sophia, les, lalaine and i were going to the La Salle Antipolo dance. chesca and alex were supposed to go with us, but alex decided she didnt want to go, and chez didnt want to go if alex wasnt going (she ended up regretting though haha). anyway, me and les had to wait for sophia and lalaine to finish their CAT, so we had time to kill. first, i saw off camille and maecy, then went back to the high school building with chez, where we ended up helping les and some of her classmates spruce up their classroom for their asianfest. around 4:30, les and i decided to get ready. the plan was to for the two of us dress up as guys, and parade as lalaine's and sophia's "dates". les had a black long-sleeved shirt, over which she put on a dark blue t-shirt, plus blue jeans, and a cap where she tucked her hair into. me? i put on a loose checkered collared shirt, black jeans, a chain around my neck, a couple of silver rings, and one of those gothic-spikey bracelets. and slicked my hair back with gel. finishing touch: i took of my glasses, and les put them on. all we had to do was slouch, and lo and behold, there were two boys in the 2nd year ladies washroom. chez got a bit freaked, hehehehehe.

6:00. we were hanging around the car wondering what was taking our "dates" so long. then we realized they were getting dressed, hahaha. they eventually showed up, looking great too. their friend from la salle picked us up. on the way, i was looking up at the full moon through half closed eyelids. we got there early. we had the option to join the on-going frendster party, but decided we'd rather vomit our guts out. so we lounged around the fair grounds instead, looking for dinner. we discovered a stall of footlong hotdogs and tacos. yum! we found oursleves a table, ate, and talked. and they had so many stories to tell, i was quite happy to just listen to them all. then we headed back to the gym. the party still hadnt started yet, so we decided to just hang around and wait. there were these low cement railings that also acted as benches at the entrance, so we settled down there, sop and me on one side, lalaine and les opposite us. (here comes the fun part!) lalaine seated herself between les' legs while les hugged her from behind. les, being a bit drowsy, dropped her forehead onto lalaine's shoulder. one of the la salle brothers saw this, and scolded them: "you dont do that kind of thing in this school!". the two immediately separated. when he left, we burst into laughter. a little while after that, some girl walked out of the gym, and as she passed by us, we noticed she was staring at me. she even tripped a bit. more laughter after she had gone. we were actually pulling it off!

the dance finally started, so we went in. it took a while for the place to fill up, during which we just settled in a corner of the gym and talked some more. after the place began to liven up a bit, we took to the dance floor. it was kinda lame, they played crappy songs you could hardly dance too. and they had this smoke screen thing going that smelled unpleasant, and you could even taste it. but being with them was fun, and i still enjoyed myself a lot. and every now and then, they'd play a good song. then there was this whole scene where their friend, star (he was the organizer of the dance, and he's on sop and les' taekwando team. he invited them) got a cramp in his foot and dropped to the floor. les was all "he's wailing like a baby!". and to complete the picture: his mom showed up!

soon after that, we left the gym and returned to the fair grounds. we got ourselves pizza and softdrinks and settled down at our old table. we could still hear the music coming from the gym. what was left of the night was spent chatting away.

near midnight we got back to sop's place and crashed in the living room. before long, lalaine's mom was there to pick her up and she left. sop's mom whipped up some hot milo for us as we lounged around. it made a nice contrast to the cold floor under my bare feet.

my dad came around at 1am. i bid them goodnight, and thanked them for dragging me along. i normally wouldnt have agreed to go to that kind of thing. i'm glad i relented this time.

The man who believes he can do something is probably right. And so is the man who believes he can't.

i finally got to watch return of the king yesterday. great flik, great trilogy! but after reading that article in the newspaper (which my writers' bloc comrades know of), every time sam and frodo were anywhere near each other, there was this little voice in the back of my head going "oh, shit, GAY!"

after the movie, we stepped into a bookstore, and there was this whole shelf dedicated to tolkien. i found it kind of sad; does the book have to be made into a movie first before you even hear of it? what is wrong with you, humanity?!?!