Are you serious?
-a lot of people

daniw: watched a film about 3 converts. wondered if i'd ever have a story like that to tell. met up with sop.

sbc: bumped into ms hazel. more javanillas! and doritos. nice.

home: back to being a bum.

The power of hotdogs.
-Alex

as i stepped off the escalator, i saw a shirt. i recognized this shirt. this shirt belonged to someone i knew.

so i ran up to alex. she was checking out the guitar. we borrowed one, and she played a few tunes. then we went up towards the bowling rink and found frankie, cami and vince outside. we said hi before leaving to get some cash from the ATM. long line. when we finally got ourselves back to the bowling rink, jo and her bro and cousins were there. so we started bowling. i got tired of it pretty soon. firsty, the machine thing that resets the pins kept screwing up. secondly, i think we were too many. so i kinda wandered off to buy a drink and a hotdog. alex tagged along. we returned at intervals for our turns (they had transferred us to a new lane). after finishing my food and soda, i started hitting more pins. haha.

game over. more food. we went over to sushi for japanese again, and chit chat. miz m was supposed to show up but i didnt get to see her. left after dinner.

more time invested with friends. yey.

I'm not gonna forget.
-Me

i didnt want to be at fiel's place early. so i was actually kinda glad when we discovered our car had a flat. kuya jonie got that fixed. but i was still the first one to arrive. not even fiel was there!

so i contented myself with watching tv. was kinda pissed at this point. rj and carlo came. then therese and her cousin ayee. then jo. so we had a bit of a crowd now. not pissed anymore. after finishing the chips, we turned to playing cards. pusoydos was the first game, then i taught them to play poker using plastic cups as money. we discovered ayee was a natural gambler!

fiel finally came. about 15 mins before i had to go. and ches and ren came. about 10 mins before i had to go. well, i got to use ches' vidcam a bit, filming the guys fool around with fiel's pet lizard. and they're stuffed toy turtle.

not a complete waste.

You're grounded!
-Mike

we wrote in the card lalaine had made, bought some chocolates and candy on the road, tried to keep the element of surprise (but kinda blew it), met him in the parking lot of ateneo, sang harana and happy birthday, joked around, then left.

operation mike's b-day: mission complete.

dropped by seattle's best before taking sop to her class and buying take out lunch from mcdo.

peace out.

It sucks to be broke. Its great to have friends!
-Me

for the first time in weeks, i woke up early. made our way to cubao, and into the classroom where on the board was written...

welcome to the intensive journal writing workshop!

wheee. one of mom's gimmicks where she drags me along. i dont usually regret letting myself get dragged. this wasnt an exception.

the goal of the workshop is for you to be able to delve deep into yourself, discover and harness what you find there. i was able to reflect a lot, express myself, realize some things, become familiar with my feelings, and practice my writing (although my handwriting still sucks).

at the end of day one, dad kept us together after dinner. he just wanted to make the whole basic issue of india clear to all of us.
its splitting up the family. the boys will be living independently of the girls... meaning the boys have to fend for themselves. whatever mom earns will go to sustaining the girls in india, and saving up for a retirement fund. visits will be made as often as our financial capacity can allow. and at mom's age... this is probably the last chance she'll get at regular high paying desk job with unicef. its also the best choice for beija's education.

by the second day of the workshop, i was getting bored with it. but i still found it meaningful. mom brought cards for us to play with at lunch since it was a long break. we received amused looks from our 'classmates'. i think some guy tried to hit on me. and i had doritos for snacks. i felt a sense of accomplishment when we finally finished.

met up with loren and alex in megamall afterwards. japanese dinner! with bottomless iced tea! yum! after that we paid a visit to comic alley, where they bought me a getbackers laminated card... YAOI! BONDAGE! and then alex bought a timzone card and we went crazy over dance revo and dance mania.

met up with mom again who had gone crazy over books. left for home while hiding the laminated card from her.

This is Beija day.
-Mom

lalaine called before i could even look for breakfast. talked about the previous day. i'm hopeful.
got to eat. took a bath. bummed around a bit until we went to have lunch with lola, coz she was leaving for canada. on the way there, mom and dad talked about india... i tried to block it out. didnt wanna think about that right now. at the table, they were all joking about being old. it made me wonder a bit about how what i'd be like...in the future. well, i didnt really wanna bother with those thoughts either.
when we finished, we decided to go to rockwell. they bought me a new discman. dropped by seattle's best. javanilla as usual. spotted therese on the way too.

...
had a crying session at night. exhausted me. but... at the end... i was refreshed too.

I wonder if she realizes I use these occasions as an excuse just to see her.
-Me

mamee was still in PJs when i got to her house.
lalaine: tinext mo ba si mike?
me: oo... sabi ko papunta na ako dito...
lalaine: kala ko ba ma-co-confine ka?
me: joke lang yun!
lalaine: seneryoso ata niya eh...
me: O_o *laughs*
when dadee got there we had our second family lunch, where i constantly wanted to pour juice over his head. after eating, we picked up dimple and nan, and headed for the fort. we were being tossed around as mike drove like a madman.
lalaine: *frantically puts on her seatbelt*
dimple: wala bang seatbelt dito sa likod??
me: wah wala!
us: *hanging on for dear life*
when we stopped, I was reminded me of the pacifier. LAND!

it was near scorching. climbed our way up to the building, waited a bit, got our gear (helmet, head mask, jumpsuit, which was cool except for the pants), listened to the orientation, and finally manned our go-carts. and off we went on the racetrack. i think i got the hang of things pretty quickly. we had a break before our second round. i was psyching myself up for a better run. i managed to make good time. except for a few instances...
mike: *driving behind me*
me: ...*brakes* *skids*
mike: putang- *KABLAG!*
me: *peace sign* *drives on*
and we all finished sweating, knees wobling, heads spinning... cool.

went home to mike's condo after that. hung out in his room at first. dimple soon fell asleep on the bed, then the other three left to talk in the sala. i stayed on the bed, resting near dimple. mike came back after a while. it was our chance to talk. i let him in on my thoughts, he let me in on his fears. when were done, mike put on a movie. dimple woke up. lalaine came back, and mike left again. so the girls hung out while the guys had a heart-to-heart. finished the movie, then dug out some of mike's...collection. got to see more than just a glimpse this time. then lalaine left again. some time passed before me and dimple decided to join in.

we left to get some dinner. but before that, we wandered around a bit. toured the garden, visited a toystore, nearly got lost. but we finally found ourselves in yellow cab. we chowed down till our stomachs were about to burst.

eventually had to go. mike brought us to lalaine's place where the driver was waiting to take me home. and mom and the dog were waiting when i got there.

This heart has no business being broken.
-Sop

so much traffic on the way to alabang. i think i'd hate to have to live out there. well, i used the time to kinda let people know of the official news - i'm going to india. i'll be gone by june 15. which roughly gives me about 6 weeks to party all i can with my friends, and psych myself up for 3 years of... isolation.

i got different reactions...
therese: good luck! i hope you have a nice life there.
mars: waaah! ako nalang! wala na akong magpagkwekewntuhan, you're the most open-minded person i know!
maecy: i dont want you to go. wrong timing pare... kung kailan tayo nakaalis sa AA.
cel: *dapa sa sahig, humahagulgol*
alex: magpa-tattoo at peircing ka, hindi taboo doon tulad dito. sasambahin kita! ingat rin... you know how indian boys are about sex.
loren: biglang nawala yung vision ko na magiging super close tayo sa college. tumigil puso ko jan ah. di pa tayo tapos mag bonding. tumatakas ka sa mga bear hug ko noh?
and sop and lalaine were the first to know.

we got to my ninong's place. congratulated peace (she's now a doctor!) and gizmo (just graduated college, creative writing!) and greeted scout (their way overfed dog). it took forever for the food to be ready. so we just hung out in the den, watching tv and chaitanya's (another cousin) kid run around and create havoc.
chaitanya: her first words are gonna be "no! don't! shit!"

finally got to appease our huge appetites. turkey! *insert memory of watching homeward bound*
then back to the den until we left.

zingers and javanillas!!!

Moooo...
-Mad

it was one of those times when it was just... pure. really simply fooling around and having fun. like kids. i relished every moment.

that cow is baised. but he's still my agent. haha.

You're not going crazy. Crazy people don't think they're going crazy. They think they're becoming saner. -Mr Lock

"Kinakabahan ako... ikaw mag-ring ng doorbell..."
so i did, smirking slightly. i could only take her so far. she'd have to do the rest.
the help let us in. he appeared, fresh from a shower. i smirked again, and looked around. cool place. top floor, too. he led us to his room where we fiddled around with his comp a bit. i got a glimpse of his stash of files *ahem*. then he put on a movie. we were already laughing just at the opening credits. all hail the moose and llama!
we paused for lunch. sitting down at the table, we took notice of a plate with huge bananas on it. she looked at me. we laughed.
when he was finally done eating, we continued the movie. i let myself a few more laughs with them, then left. i wasnt so sure if that was really a good idea. but i figured if they were really gonna talk, they'd need me out of the way. so... it really was up to her. them.
i texted them though:
to her - behave!
to him - just wanted you to know that i refuse to have a stepmom.
stopped by a gas station and burned a bit of cash, then proceeded to my destination. she greeted me at the door. and instead of my usual smirk, i smiled.

You're the reason I don't cry myself to sleep at night.
-Sop

it was midnight, and got out of bed and was making my way down the stairs in the dark. i felt for the phone on the table and laid it beside me on the floor. and i sat there, waiting for it to ring.

we talked for about an hour. i couldnt offer much, just an ear and repetative words of reassurance. i always feel stupid when i feel i havent done enough. which is... a lot. well, its a good thing there are others who can do a better job.

it was 6 in the afternoon, and i had been waiting two hours to see the doctor. felt like i was rotting in my seat. when i finally got to see him, he decided i was ok. i dont really know if hearing that was worth it.

it was 8 in the evening, and i was seated in a G1 theatre. dad had brought us to see a show. "whose wife is it anyway?". really funny. its all about lies. oh, and sex.

and its midnight again, and i think there's something wrong with me. more wrong than usual at least.

You're going to lose. But you owe it to yourself to try.
-Mom

i tossed and turned in my bed. i wanted to sleep. sleep wouldnt come. i was probably just being stupid again. making such a big deal of it. i didnt wanna think about it. i needed a distraction.
i left my room. the computer was occupied. and that wouldnt have done much anyway - surfing the net wasnt enough, and i didnt really wanna chat with anyone at the moment. my gaze turned to the next thing - playstation. perfect. something that i didnt have to concentrate to much on, but that i needed to concentrate enough on and keep my mind of... other things.
it worked. at least till dad came home and walked past me later that night. i sat on the sofa outside his room, trying to gather my guts. i guess i mustve managed coz i was able to turn the doorknob.
we talked for quite a while. we were kinda just going around in circles actually. but in the end, he gave way to me. maybe it would be easier to just follow.
i washed my face, avoiding looking in the mirror. then i headed back to my room where mom was waiting and lay down. she prayed over me. and sleep came this time. and so did the tears.

You're right. It is all about sex.
-Alex

the sun had already set. we tried various ways to get callos spa quickly (coz i was late!). but none of them worked. the roundabout road of sumulong was the only way to avoid annoyingly heavy traffic that was everywhere else. i was afraid we wouldnt find the place. i didnt know the way. and i didnt even have a proper map. it didnt help that it was dark, and the street we had to take was pitch black. but, thankfully, i made it.
i was expecting to see people in those cocunut bras and grass skirts. too bad nobody took the "beach attire" thing THAT seriously, haha. i was walking down the stairs when someone coming towards me called my name. the face didnt register at first. then i recognized carmen. i laughed and greeted her. she was a batchmate of ours till... first year i think. then she left the school. i remember her as my first friend in assumption antipolo, when i still didnt know a word of tagalog.
i greeted xy and quietly handed her my gift. i hadnt wrapped it so i didnt wanna leave it at the table with all the other presents. it was a bracelet with.. beach stuff charms.. surfboards, palm trees..
its a good thing there was still plently of food left to go around. i sat with mars and alex, sharing a small cozy table for two with them. joked around a bit with evans, kamla and candy as the passed by. later evee and fel called us over to join them at their table. so there we were... eating crepes and cream puffs, fiddling with cellphones and shades (yes, shades, and we couldnt see anything anymore), talking about boys and weird dreams. i dipped my feet into the pool and splashed water on those seated at the edge.
the band that played was pretty good. didnt catch their name though. xy's dad was all over the place, dancing and dirty dancing (ahaha) when he wasnt holding the vidcam. they finally got xy to sing with the komu members. and just as that number ended, i bid my goodbyes.
headed to a familiar house, bearing a cupcakes and a necklace made of crepe paper (you know, the kind that hulahula dancers wear with the grass skirts haha). but that house wasnt mine.

Bongga ka day! Aw!
-Cami

i figured i wouldnt be able to eat dinner after the show, so i had dad drive us through KFC. i had never seen a KFC drive thru before, hahaha, apparently they exist.
cami's recital was supposed to start at 5pm. and end at 9pm. and they actually didnt start late (you cant at CCP). the show really was four hours long. thank god for KFC.
when i first walked into the place, i thought i was lost. then i saw the pink programmes with cami's picture on it. so i was in the right place. soon enough, i found kami's parents with kuya papu's friend and girlfriend. i found out i was the only friend of cami's there. jo (who had been to every show until this instance) was busy, and no one else could make it.
it crossed my mind that cami had once mentioned to me that knowing her friends were in the audience was her reason to smile on stage. well... they were usually a lot of us. now it was just me. and i wondered if that would do.
we got front row seats, and cami spotted us pretty easily. she smiled. guess it was enough.
kim and albertyn hacked away at the piano. papu sang his heart out (although he looked like a ghost. too much make up!). and there was the show-stopping hiphop dance number.
when the show finally ended, dad was waiting for me outside in the lobby. he had apparently been worried about me coz it was getting late. and so i discovered, despite his paranoia... dad looks out for me.

Sabi three!
-Les

well, the eastwood plan got scrapped. ended up spending the afternoon in sop's place instead. which wasnt half bad at all, haha. played cards for the most part - betting fake money at poker, outwitting each other at pusoydos, bluffing or trying to bluff at bullshit. kenji and pochi hung around with us, one sleeping, the other biting our feet. and then the evil gamu-gamos attacked! and they forced us to eat our burgers in the dark. but definitely not in silence. when we had enough of them crawling into our clothes, we retreated into the master's bedroom where there was sanctuary from the insects. the laptop kept us company and definitely free from boredom. dad came later than what had been ageed upon. but hey, i definitely wasnt complaining.

Me looking for death is perfectly normal.

roamed around assumption. i knew i would miss it, but i didnt really wanna be back that soon, haha. but it was cool. got to see a few good ol' pals.
after getting my grad pics, along with cami's and lex's (coz they couldnt make it to school so i got them for them coz i'm such a nice guy), i roamed around a bit more. i was supposed to go watch sop train, but it was a bit too late for that since she'd be arriving at school soon to supposedly pick up her mom. i actually tried looking for her mom, but didnt have any luck. i did happen upon ms ettie though and got to give her the hug that i wanted to give but didnt get to give at graduation. after that i just hung out at the multi, and ended up bugging cel and kuya anton by my "appear disappear" act.
me: i cant find tita...
cel: i cant believe your actually looking for death *laughs*
me: *laughs* me looking for death is perfectly normal.
cel: not this kind of death!
me: good point.
*laughs*
sop arrived and tried looking for her mom but it turned out that she had already gone home so we just boarded the pick-up and did the same.
after lunch, sop rushed to finish her project. and kuya jonie came to the rescue with a car that we could take tall the way to UP instead of having to commute. we had aircon and it was faster! yey. we were only two hours late. we dropped off her portfolio and met up with sop's friend to give her a cd for her project. we were also supposed to get sop's shorts back from her but it kinds slipped our minds. wanted to go to starbucks but times are hard and we didnt have any money so we just headed back to sop's house.

run-ons. yey.

due to lack of space in my bravenet album...
photobucket presents...




the aftermath of slipping on the rocks.




me sunbathing with the alpha female.




me with ms iggy and her blue snoopy!




bogart! katokayo ko! bog bog bog!




the showdown of species.




miz m's tatoo. (no, sadly, its not permanent haha)




judge for yourselves. bwahahaha...

at-t-t-t-thats all folks!

I'm tryin to explain baby the best way I can
I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hands
-50 Cent

i managed to get myself to school early enough. we boarded the bus soon, and checked attendance. then we were off to anilao, batangas for our batch outing.

the ride was pretty funny while we werent sleeping yet.
kuya john (our facilitator): ano ang sabi ni kuya louie sa orientation?
us: wag daw makinig kay kuya john!
kuya john: O_o

kuya john: ito si kuya alex (another facilitator). sino kamukha niya?
us: si boyoyong!
kuya alex: O_o

kuya john: ito si kuya clint. siya ang ating TL. ano ang TL? (dapat team leader)
us: true love!
kuya clint: O_o

they woke us up at the pit stop, where alex met her new boyfriend.
alex: oh my god, look, he's tall... a redhead... fair-skinned... with cherry lips...
ronald mcdonald.

we got off the bus and transferred to boats. our group was the last batch to be transported. and we had to wait a while before that happened, but it was worth it coz we got to see a lawin (endagered bird of prey!) 'fishing' as we rode the waves. we also got really wet from that.

we disembarked, stretched, and soon we found ourselves trekking. understandably, we were hungry after that.

right after eating, we boarded the boats again and moved to a different shore. we parked at the resort, lugged our heavy belongings to the site, took a moment to catch our breaths, then pitched our tents. later on, we geared up for snorkling. that would have been pleasant enough of there werent baby jellyfish stinging us everywhere.

the rest of the afternoon lulled on lazily. the other sections had gone, and the scene was quieter. we met bogart, a huge white labrador. we got kicks out of wathching him fetch a water bottle out of the sea. he was so cute.

dinner time... BOODLE FIGHT!!! that turned us into animals, man.
kuya alex: *lying down on his front on the table*
jaka: o.. may lechon pa pala tayo eh! nasan na ang apple?

after dinner, chitchatted amongst ourselves, till we joined up in a big group around father edwin, telling ghost stories. most of us felt we wouldnt sleep so well that night. i mananged pretty well, i think.

next morning, there was more snorkling. there were still baby jellyfish, but it was more bearable and i got to enjoy that more. i watched the pros (ms iggy, manong johnathan, and the "lakbay boys") dive down. some of us tried it too. one with the fishies!

after taking our showers, we (me, cami, alex, ms iggy, ms jona) actually ended up watching the lion king. and having a good time at it.

on the bus ride home, there was videoke! our beloved 'adults' proved they were still kids at heart. and the rest of the trip i spent reading a book.

*insert Graduation theme*

graduation practice highlights:

the text: "i promise to Mary, my mother..."
the way ms olalde said it: "i promise to marry my mother..."

sr carla: *talking to us in the auditorim* *mic konks out* (in a kiddie way) HEY!
sir vince: oh.. we'll fix that.
*pause*
sir jerry: *from above, over the mic system* sir vince, paki palit nalang yung receiver.
us: O_o god? is that you?

graduation highlights:
-getting my hair done and hating it while everyone else... uh, didnt hate it.
-stressing over the invitations of sop and angela
-all of messing up the alleluia
-receiving the diploma (of course)
-the whole receiving the award for "unity for social transformation" (only the 2nd time in history to ever be given to a batch, apparently)
-finding out we made 900k+ from our legacy
-hanging out with teachers and friends a bit

party highlights:
-seeing maria
-kalokohan ranging from dora, to spongebob, to rosalinda...
-almost falling asleep on her shoulder

If I could, I would keep my thoughs within
Coz I'd rather you see how much you mean to me

noelle! chesca might not graduate! kasama niya si ren kanina... eh diba dapat no boyfriends allowed? nahuli sila ni ms olalde. you shouldve seen her face go red. tinawagan niya parents ni ches. tapos kinausap ng parents niya si ches. maririnig mo yung sigaw ng dad niya over the phone. they have to break up. and they're gonna make her study in italy. and... april fools!

ms ettie composed a song... just for us. i stared at ceiling of the auditorium and let the light and tears blind me. i guess i'm sucker for that kind of thing.