Dare to do more than breathe
Promise to live, don't just exist

mars - deepest darkest secrets are safe with me. i wasnt kidding when i said it was an honor. thanks for trusting me. you can be sure i'll return the favor.
alex - heh... thanks for putting up with me... and extending you short patience a little longer for me. i'm glad you consider me a friend. course, its mutual.
loren - i'll always be here. i may not be the best, but i'll be here. astig ka pare.
frankie - my stomach still has a hangover from laughing coz of you. come visit your golden boyfriend soon.
chesca - here's to you, who i can always be bangag with.
noelle - i will miss your quirks.
therese - guess things are hard on you... and we aint helping much are we? sorry. i promise to be more sensitive. what we've shared counts, and i wont forget that.
jo - its easy to see you'll get really far in life. pull us along ok? haha. here's to slaving butts off over grad songs.
maecy - my other half. di ka pwedeng mahiwalay sa'kin. thanks for the company for the last days. go iska!
camille - keep exploring yourself and the world. i'm sure you'll find things that will take you by surprise. let them sweep you away.


one more round for memories.

Mommy's home!

mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home mommy's home!!!

*ahem* jantofeb *lol*

yeah, i'm happy. so was kaiser. sue us.

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
-Ryan Cabrera

dad told me i am not going to start my vacation by watching tv all day. so i played playstation instead. this earned the remark "you're such an assumptionista!", which i assume means that i can argue my way through anything. haha.

didnt spend the whole day on the couch though. spent some time in bed too. *wink*

cheers to meme quizzes, free porn (lol! maecy!), granola bars and cute fluuuuufy bunnies.

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry
-Usher

the show wasnt so bad. but it seemed never ending, which managed to get on my nerves. i wanted to stone the performers off the stage. i wonder if the a-team (who were seated right behind me) read my thoughts through my groans.

i remembered being on the opposite side of the penthouse last year for the turnover. well, the tables had turned. chesca went over with me to call cata while i called for cel. giving of tokens, hugs, laughs, and butt slapping. then ayi sang burn, which earned many laughs.

we kinda lingered around just a bit, i got to see most leave. it didnt quite occur to me till a little later that i wouldnt be seeing them so much anymore.

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry
-Usher

the show wasnt so bad. but it seemed never ending, which managed to get on my nerves. i wanted to stone the performers off the stage. i wonder if the A-team (who were seated right behind me) read my thoughts through my groans.

i remembered being on the opposite side of the penthouse last year for the turnover. chesca went over with me to call cata while i called for cel. giving of tokens, hugs, laughs, and butt slapping. then ayi sang burn, which earned many laughs.

we kinda lingered around just a bit, i got to see most people leave. it didnt quite occur to me till a little later that i wouldnt be seeing them so much anymore.

I believe in the sand beneath my toes
The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling
I believe in the faith that grows
And the four right chords can make me cry
When I'm with you I feel like I could die
And that would be all right, all right
-Third Eye Blind

having to wake up even just a bit earlier earned many more groans than usual. but anyway...
migs has been a lot more accomodating lately. we played a sort of game in the car. we alloted points to stuff he could run over, should he chose to. points were according degree of annoyance.
mig: 100 points for the biker!
mig: pedestrians 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! 600 points!
mig: *fails to see a hump and speeds over it* aaah! hump 5000 points!
mig: bird... 20 points.
mig: stupid tricycles, so slow, dont want to move to the side! 10,000 points.
mig: *slaps his hands together* ... mosquito. ...50,000 points.
-
-
mig: beij... i think dad is losing his mind.

i told the folks at school about it. and we continued the game.
mars: *playing with a small purple bear*
me: oh my god... its a purple dancing bear.
*laughs*
me: oh, 100,000 points!
alex: la da di da da BLAG...... la la la di di...
*laughs*
me: mars, 1 million points.
mars: *raises eyebrow* bea, .01 points.
me: waa!

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice:	Hammer
Your Favorite Target:	Televangelists
Your Kill Count:	405,696,486
Your Battle Cry:	"Touch me, I'm happy!"
Years You Spend in Jail:	34
How Much Money In Damages You Cause:	$4,443,440,246,908
Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 87%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
-Vonda Shepard

it kinda seems a shame that we got to interact with most of the sisters only at this point. my mom was pretty close to the maryknoll nuns when she was in school.

people were crying already. i think i was on the brink of tear, but never quite tumbled over the edge. maybe i'll save them for graduation.
i kinda ending up laughing instead...
ms gaye: *wipes tears with tissue*
miz m: *leaves line* *walks over to ms gaye* *take some tissue* nakakahawa eh!
ms arcillia earned a standing ovation from us after her insprirational talk. then picture picture picture taking.

well, the damn car didnt get to me till 6:52pm. which was abouat 10 mins before my "record time" of having to stay late in assumption. i made a new friend. liz also had no way home, so i offered to drop her off at philcoa, which isnt out my way much. so we pretty much had a bonding session over books, college, family, and the bread of life. we also go to see some funny scenes...
ms gaye: *kiddy voice* karen! i dont wanna go to the gym!
miz m: ok, what dyou want me to say? "its up to you, you dont have to go to the gym", or "sige lang, kaya mo yan"?
ms gaye: hmm.. i think i like the latter better..
miz m: ok! sige lang , kaya mo yaaan!!! *turns to us* see? i'm a very malleable friend. whatever my friend wants!

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you fallin'
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone
-Goo Goo Dolls

"...baka matuloy yung dati kong plano."
at first i was confused. then i realized what that meant.
firstly, she was really opening up to me again.
secondly, she was in really deep shit again.

i listened. within the vehicle, emotions were ricocheting, but they were very well hidden. a habit between the two of us. she was being pushed to her limits. i dont know how much longer it'll take before she breaks. i didnt want to stop her this time. but i did anyway...


the first person i ever considered hating was that saddistic psycho bitch. she doesnt deserve the title "mom".

Miss, miss, pakitigil lang please
Ang iyong pagpapantasya
Hindi ka na nakakatuwa
Ipapagulpi na kita sa gwardyang may batuta
-Parokya ni Edgar

think of a the title of a song... and the words "in my pants" at the end.

oops i did it again... in my pants.
the hardest thing... in my pants.
naughty girl... in my pants.
get down... in my pants.
what a girl wants... in my pants.
everything you do... in my pants.
a whole new world... in my pants.
i'll be here... in my pants.
do you hear the people sing... in my pants.
who let the dogs out... in my pants.

think of a title of a tv show or movie... and replace on of the words with "sex".

and yeah, i think i'll stop there.

KABANGAGAN AT KAGAGUHAN! ANG SAYA!

Celebrate good times, come on!
-Kool and the Gang

the last day. we were all psyched up to jump and run around cheering after the last test. unfortunately, the last test happened to be calculus, and we were way to brain dead to do anything.

but we made up for it. *grin*

and i was feeling pretty good lying under the shade on the trunk of the car.

Makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan
-Session Road

haha... umabot suntok ko!

Nangangati sa kaiisip sa 'yo
Hanggang sa mabutas 'tong maong ko
Tsaka bibili uli ng bago
-Eraserheads

ok, that heading had no real point... except to look/sound very wrong. *evil laugh*

lots of catching up to do, topped with everything else that was still to be done. my body picked a terrible time to break down.
me: *in line at the canteen... feeling an all to familiar sensation* uh oh... *leaves line* *flops down at a table*
eliana: bea... maputla ka...
me: yeah, i know... (though i feel it more than see it haha...) *lies down on the bench*
eliana: mag-clinic ka na! gusto mo ng stretcher? bea? wah! bilis tumawag kayo ng stretcher!
manong: *arrives with stretcher* napasobra ka ng kain noh?!
that remark actually made me laugh... and i probably wouldve retorted if i had the energy.

nurse rose knows me well by now. how could she not?
i've fainted in the sewing room. no one even noticed till one of my classmates nearly tripped over me.
i've nearly fainted during mass. cami managed to lug me to the LRC area, till i really fainted. then she put me down and ran for the clinic.
i've fainted in the middle of singing the national anthem in sir ruel's class. he ended up carrying me to the CA's office... past the all the other sections, coz mine had to be farthest one from there from the office.
those are only some of my... adventures.

so i was in bed, suckling on some candy. i wanted to leave. but the nurse told me to sleep for an hour, so i complied. i woke up rather sore though... their beds are hard.

went back to the classroom to cram the whole second unit of physics for the quarter within the span of one period... just so i could pass the test the next day.

is it really that hard to say goodbye? or do people just make it that way?

It's been a long road
Gettin from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near
-Rod Stewart

hectic... a lot of us are suffering under the pressure. nothing exactly new... but that doesnt change the fact that its hard.


it almost seems unreal...

we're leaving.

Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
You can't tell me it's not worth dying for
-Bryan Adams

hahaha... tanga ko rin... pareho lang pala kami.
we'll start again.
and if we have to, i'm willing to do it again and again...
until we get it right.