Sunday, February 27

*digs a hole with my hands*
*crawls in*
*pulls the ground over me*


"bury yourself alive! i wonder how long i can cry before die!"

Saturday, February 26

Awitin mo!
At isasayaw ko!


the day before
i showed up at school and went looking for my comrades. found them soon enough. we kinda lounged around first before doing any real work. took time to check out the multi being prepared for the junior's night that evening. i smiled, hoping it would turn out to be a great thing for them.

down to business... putting up the signs, creating a spiderwebs (to sorta block off passageways), figuring out the layout, and of course arguing with the others, haha. a group went out to buy some food while the rest if us covered what ground was left to be covered (at least for now). then a mdco lunch in the waiting shed, after which i took my leave...

and turned to much more exciting prospects. ahem. *grin*


the day itself
definitely not the best way to wake up... but anyway...

i ended up wandering around the lobby and the atrium... was amusing myself quite well actually. decided to settle down and stay less conspicuous when people started going in. couldnt quite completely avoid questioning though.
she arrived. we went in and heard what was left to be heard. had to leave right after though...

back in school again. i was bombarded by candy and mika as soon as i got there... as if i were a messenger sent from heaven (well we all know where i really come from). i took some load off their backs, and we all set to work separately to get more tasks done. at some point, we joined up again, and we finished just in time... although we still couldve used a bit more, it would do. i had been running around all day... and the night had barely started.

i took first shift backstage. great position actually, nyahahaha. up close and personal.

the show started. the retro dance number by the seniors already drew people to the stage. when brad turvey and ana domingo came out, more cheers. and of course, when we escorted rivermaya to the stage, madness.
"human wall!"
t was amusing... quite a number of people we were holding back in the frontline were our own batchmates, haha.
rico blanco: ok... at the count of 1... i want you to jump up and down!
crowd: *cheers*
us: 0_o

one word. ARAY.

after things kinda cooled down, i excused myself. i had a shift at the entrance but i didnt quite wanna do that. i just checked in on them then went my own way for a while. met up with sop, lalaine, mike, cel. javanillas rock!

headed back to work when the autograph signing on stage was coming up. i found myself the be the only one guarding stage left. which i felt really did not bode well... and almost really didnt. thankfully, i was not trampled on. when reinforcements arrived, i climbed up to help supervise things. i even kinda ended up becoming a gennie...
me: amee- *smoke machine blows up smoke in my face*
amee: O_o
mrs flores: o bea.. may i have three wishes?
me: *blink* *laughs*


after rivermaya, more dance numbers. this time it was a modern dance medley. and the parents joined in! it was so fun to watch them practice earlier, but the real thing was even funner.

spirit of '67 brought on the real dancing though... all the ol' favorites! we were in the moshpit going crazy! and during the final number when we joined the band on stage, it actually cracked and gave way beneath us! (no need for alarm, nothing serious, but it was still such a laugh)

and the moon was... well, almost full.

Tuesday, February 22

Sayo ang pagkain
Kami ang kakain!
-Alex


i walked into the classroom, dumped my stuff in my place, and stretched. dennie looked at me from her seat and blinked.
"ay! sabi na nga ba eh may dapat akong maalala! happy birthday!" *hug* then she proceeds to write an announcement of the ocassion on the board, thus ensuring a greeting from everyone.

people were kinda surprised to find out i was only 17.
"bunso, bunso!"
even the opening and closing prayer of our meeting for the legacy was the happy birthday song.

had dinner at TGIF. hamburger! gimme gimme!
chad and i were just laughing at dad's annoyance at this kid running around making so much noise.

its the small things...

thanks to all who remembered. even those who remembered too late, hahaha.

Sunday, February 20

I close my eyes
Only for a moment and the moment's gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes in curiosity
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
-Scorpions


woke up kinda out of it. its a good thing i got my senses together in time. well... not quite... sorry ninang!

spent the day with tita lot. she fed me putobongbong for breakfast then we left for her house where she freshened up. while she was doing that, i was left on the bed eating peanuts. i got up every now and then and wandered around. i found some pictures on the shelves... of us in jordan. i was so... small, haha. tita was fond of panoramic shot. theres a pic of a whole group of us spread across this line of pillars... astig. and there were pics of me, tita lot, mom, dad... all dressed in real arabian outfits. i remember how heavy the headdress felt on me. there was on of us in punta fuego (which was not so long ago)... in front of the vacation house of tito noelle. i loved the night sky twice as much there. it was so full of stars... and you could see so many 'falling' in the horizon... i think i lost count of how many wishes i made. and the moon was so bright and seemed so near. tito even had a telescope, and he showed me a planet, although i've forgotten which one. add to that the sound of the waves crashing gainst the cliffs.

anyway... we ate lunch at pasto in greenhills, then went shopping for a few tops (i ended up with a pink shirt... wah). then we met up with tita merle who had just got in from the states and went to look at the work of gawad kalinga in cainta and taytay. mass at christ the king... i hadnt been there in quite a while. i was shocked to find the place... airconditioned. wahahaha. sound system still sucked though.

we went to visit the crypt of tita lot's dad under the church. i passed one grave and something caught my eye. a card... child's handwritting and drawing... "happy holloween ate". i looked over at the dates on the tablet casually... then froze...

...

april 27, 1998
april 28, 1998

Saturday, February 19

I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true
-Metallica


you cling to others now. and i watch from a distance... no, not at a distance... i'm right there... silently agonizing as you turn to all of them but me... but silently rejoicing that you have them... do you see it? am i here just for when you need me? do you even need me? haha... it stings when you dont... and it stings when you do... how ironic is that?

I PASSED UP!!! WAHOOO!!! i was staring at my name for the longest time. when i finally moved, i bumped my head against this girl's in my daze. hahaha.

i actually found the talk cool. now... do i follow what it taught or do i continue being the bad widdle gurl i've always been? nyaha... to be or not to be... that is the question. (o, may nakukuha rin pala ako sa hamlet! hahaha!)

natuwa ako... at something my other half said...
"ur da best."
feel asleep with a smile...

na may katumbas din na luha...

Friday, February 18

Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
-Rivermaya


sometimes i feel like i'm just walking on this earth aimlessly. like every day is just something i have to get over with. like i dont... belong... anywhere.

i've wondered... what it would be like to see the world through another's eyes. i stand face to face with someone... what exactly does the person see from her vantage point... and think... and feel... about everything.
does she feel as lost as me?

how does cami take sitting by the mother she loathes, telling her about her day? how does mars go home to an empty house? how does kuya jonie survive problems that come simutaneously and consecutively in every shape and form you can think of?

i dont know how to reach out to cami anymore. i dont know hot to reach out any furthur to mars. i dont how to even begin reaching out to kuya jonie.

so where do i go?
i retreat...
back into my own world. i dont belong...

but at least there's still one pillar i have to lean on... a big part of that world.

Thursday, February 17

Isang tama sampung mali
Ganyan ako pumili
Di na mababawi ng puso kong sawi
-Sugarfree


the three of us had all brought our guitars to school. hehe... conspiracy?

"unacceptable", period.
i felt a twinge. didnt quite know how to take it. so i just kept my mouth shut for the most part.
i had to resign to eating by myself.
it... hurt... walking the paths alone... but somehow... it also seemed fitting.
i dunno...
was this way i'd leave?
an alien?

found some saving grace in lying on each other's bellies, logic riddles and brain teasers, the world's funniest and corniest jokes, truth or dare. bonding with friends from the other levels.

mood swings... god, i'm such an insecure git.

Wednesday, February 16

Am I a hunter if I send poems to please you
Am I a cad if I mean everything I say
Should I even let you know this song’s about you girl
Just because I want to see you smile today
-Daniel Bedingfield


sleepy. thats how i felt when i stepped out of the car and made my way to the multi. i dropped my bag down beside glad. spelling bee... we were still one member short and we had only till about 9am to find one or else we'd most likely be disquilified. i didnt really care who we got, or if we got anyone at all. hehe... bad, i know.

we found someone to fill in the empty slot. practised a bit. when the competition finally came i guess i was a bit nervous. i managed to do my part right. we ended up with third place. shrug.

after that we just lounged around and laughed till departure. i had a glass of milo for lunch. then hamlet and a bit of guitar playing for desert. bonding kasama mga third year, haha - les, mara, cata, ana, agnes, gabbie. they used my leg as pillow till the blood stopped circulating.

loren sorta rebuked me for leaving her alone. gyah... i'm so sorry for that...

meeting for the legacy... bleargh... what a hassle. but i guess i dont regret signing up for the job. and at least we get free food. walked around in the dark bordering the light of the multi till kuya jonie showed up.

they joked around that we had gone on a date. i wish. heh. least i had given her a few gifts.

Sunday, February 13

So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love
Life that is lived alone
-Phantom of the Opera


one more month to go.

Saturday, February 5

I can live, I can love
I can reach the heaven's above
I can right what is wrong
I can sing just any song
I can dance, I can fly
And touch the rainbow in the sky
I can be your good friend
I can love you until the end


baguio.

getting there is always half the fun. you have the movies, junkfood, sleeping and stolen sleep shots, all of which were continued at the destination.
it was cold. i loved it. nice change from the hot and humid city.
staying in the dorms was awesome! and the food was something else.

there wasnt a day i didnt laugh till my stomach ached.
there wasnt a day i didnt cry till i thought i'd no tears left.

a choice.
to be a better person.

when i left for baguio, i was leaving home. when i left for manila, i was leaving home again.

Tuesday, February 1

Coz every little thing he does is magic
Every thing he does just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for him goes on
-MYMP


jan 28
the twists of life can be completely aggravating, extremely amusing, and usually unexpected.

kuya jonnie couldnt drive me, he had to bring his wife to the hospital. but migs came through for me, even though he was a bit hot-headed.

i've also discovered how small this world really is.

and that weird dads are good to have when you've done something stupid.

even allergy attacks can draw the most pleasant effects.


jan 29
lesson learned that morning: even when you're 37 going on 38, its cool to be a kid at heart.

lesson learned that evening: pink and curls can be fun. (OMFG did i really just say that?)

me: this is more skin then i've ever shown in my life.
alex: you want skin?? *takes off her shawl revealing off shoulder, plunging neckline*
me: O_o
(side note: alex resembled GMA due to her hairdo and the mole one her face.

"madam president! do show some decency!" 
"noh?")

me and therese: *coughing from the smoke screen during camille's entrance*

me, gabbie and ana: *walk into the bathroom*
"puro assumptionista!"
"ano to?? secret convention??"
"headquarters: the bathroom of edsa shanrila!"
"agenda 1: fix your make up! agenda 2: fix your dress! agenda 3: wage war with the toilets! go mighty plungers!"

me and kim: *chants* bring the prawns! bring the prawns!

*dancing in heels*
*dancing barefoot after ditching the heels*



feb 01
off to baguiuo. see ya guys!